Above is a link to a post written by my partner, as they recollected their experiences taken their latest exam. In one of the sections he mentions that he muttered a response to a prompt that his fellow students were worrying about. He wrote that nobody usually listens, but that his knee-jerk response to prompts is more effective than any writing advice that neurotypical people give to him.
I always find it amusing when other people describe my partner as ‘inscrutable’ or ‘hard to follow’, as I spend a lot of my free time listening to him. Even when we had first met, my mind has felt a familiarity with his train of thought. It was like listening to an old friend despite only recently meeting at the time. I could never pre-empt the ending of his sentences, but it flowed with a logic that was pleasing. Or presented a perspective that might have been new to me, but still entertaining enough to catch my attention.
My partner’s arguments on quotes like the fish in the rice paddy are not new to me, and I agree with them more often than not. I also enjoy discussing with him, and adding to them. In addition to his thoughts on using eastern imagery for western bodies of thought to make concepts sound fancier than they actually are, I like to point out that these written descriptions often miss the point that was originally intended. Westerners tend to do that; take Eastern concepts out of context and mis-apply them. By describing the field of psychiatry as a fish in a rice paddy the western examiner fails to consider the patient as the rice farmer, gaining two modes of nutrition from the one field in order to be most efficient with space during a rainy season. Or the psychiatrist as the rice farmer, helping the paddy (a metaphor for a patient) adapt to changing conditions by offering a variety of treatment options (rice, or fish? Psychotherapy or medication?) to best suit their condition. By reducing either patient or practitioner to a single facet, one reduces both to a parody of themselves.
These discussions are how my partner and I often connect. We show each other that we love one another by listening, and letting our minds work with each other. It has been harder to do with a baby repeatedly interrupting with their usual trouble, falling over or demanding food or tapping our feet in a move to get our attention. However, on the few occasions that we can spare some time to share our attention exclusively with one another, it feels like a nice return to the bonding that we used to do. The reason we are together, and the way our brains recognize each other as best friends.
I am glad that my partner has passed this exam so that they do not have to worry about conforming to unspoken neurotypical standards for examination anymore. They are almost complete with their training, meaning that their ability to be freely and unimpeded-ly autistic as a psychiatrist is soon to be within their grasp.
And what a wonderful thing that will be.
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