I used to think that my upbringing was bland, and my in-laws were a paragon of good taste.
Coming from a white, Catholic family where the paprika was seven years’ expired and considered the ‘spice’ in the cupboard I can forgive my younger self for being impressed that my mother-in-law had fresh chilli flakes on hand. And that she didn’t always make her dinner from a jar.
But my elderly relatives’ obsession with health and fitness has really gone overboard of late. Without access to the sensible perspectives that my partner and I can read online…about how ‘fat is not evil’ and ‘food with fat IN it is also not evil’, they’ve readily jumped on the bandwagon that the majority of society hopped off long ago.
You know. The no-fat-no-sugar-low-carb bandwagon.
Now, when I’m dieting and actively trying to lose weight, I find that the method which helps me achieve my goal the fastest.
Do I enjoy it? No.
Would I be happy to live the rest of my days like that? Also, hell no. I only do it so I can start pregnancy at a solid BMI so that I can contentedly eat whatever comfort food my morning sickness leads me towards.
My father-in-law seems to conveniently ignore the factor his lean genetics play into being able to eat what he likes and stay trim. His insistence that he ‘hates sugar!’ is immediately disproven with the speed at which he demolishes my pumpkin pie. He’s not more active or more fit than me – he’s just a food-snob.
So when I happily told him that I found a way to get his entire family to happily eat brussel sprouts, his joy was quickly overshadowed by the fact that the recipe calls for a bit of maple syrup and a bit of bacon.
“Aah!” He practically yelled, “Sugar and fat!!”
Well, yes. We’re not content to have cabbage smoothies (yes, my father-in-law actually makes these) or bitter-melon salad (yuck!) so I do what I can to make fruit and veg more palatable. Two tablespoons of maple syrup to an entire tray of brussel sprouts does not mean I’m coating his grandchild’s dinner in sugar. Further to the point, without a bit of oil and fat those sprouts would burn in the oven faster than I could say “what’s that smell?”. The days of boiling the little green things are over, there are spoons of tahini and handfuls of caramelized onion that I can add to the problem these days. Combine a handful of this as a side to a dinner of meat, or vegetarian pasta, and I’ve basically hit all the food groups on one plate.
Toxic relationships with food are one of the things I’m desperately trying not to teach my daughter. There is no such thing as ‘bad’ food or ‘good’ food, just food that has more nutritional content than others. Some food is more filling than others. And some food we have as a sometimes-food because we can all admit that it’s delicious BUT doesn’t really give our body the fuel it needs for playtime.
Like, say, doughnuts. Doughnuts are a sometimes-food.
But when we get to the grey area of vegetables with *gasp* fat on them, how are we to cope!?
How can my daughter be healthy if she enjoys eating button squash with some cheese melted onto them!?
Where will my child get her nutrition from if she’s not munching on garlic straight from the ground!?
Oh, right. I ignore that advice because it’s silly as hell.
I look at my child’s nutrition over the course of a week, not day-to-day. Some days she’ll demolish 3 bananas, a small pot of yoghurt, an entire slice of peanut butter toast, 300ml of full cream milk, three meatballs, a handful of pasta, and a handful of crackers. Other days she’s really thirsty so she’ll drink a lot of water and throw the meatballs onto the floor.
I’m just glad she’s listening to her stomach and not forcing herself to over-eat when she’s not hungry.
But some other days, all she wants is crunchy crackers and toast and that’s it. She doesn’t want pasta, she doesn’t want fruit, she doesn’t want yoghurt and she does NOT want anything else I offer. I suspect it’s because she’s teething and crunchy things feel good on her gums, so on these days I’m just glad that she occasionally eats like a large dog.
Since having a child, my partner and I also eat more healthy because we try to model good habits. So, we also have more brussel sprouts, squash, broccoli, zuccini and lean protein than before. Across the course of a week I’m buying (and eating!) far more fruit and veg than two years ago. We’re exercising more, getting more sun, and drinking less alcohol. In the big picture we’re doing great.
But, alas, all my father in law focuses on is the fact that it’s taking me longer to bounce back postpartum than I had intended, and that I cook my food with peanut oil sometimes. Because I like flavour. I spent 19 years of my life eating unseasoned sausages and watery mashed potato and I am completely compensating for it now.
Research & Beyond 